Birth is amazing.
Birth is beautiful.
Birth is a journey.
Birth is unpredictable.
Birth is challenging.
Birth is unfair.
Birth is a miracle.
Birth is magical.
Birth is spiritual.
Birth is a rite of passage.
Birth is the only way.
Birth is inevitable.
— From a brainstorming exercise for my Birth Arts International (BAI) certification, “What is Birth?”
A couple of years back, I wrote a blog based on a question that often comes up in interviews, probably because some doula organizations include it in their list of questions to ask potential doulas: what is your philosophy on pregnancy and birth? What I wrote instead was my approach to my profession: evidence-based, trauma-informed and prevention focused. While I still hold to these practices, I think holistic, individualized care best defines my current practice.
When I was first asked this question, I felt like I knew the correct answer, which would be something like, “Pregnancy and childbirth are normal, healthy processes that are best left untampered with so nature can do its job.” The problem is, that’s not necessarily what I believe. In another blog, I addressed how the concept of “natural childbirth” isn’t inclusive enough to take into account couples for whom childbirth is a very technological process. Birth and pregnancy are only natural processes when circumstances and preferences allow.
After having supported a couple dozen families through birth, I feel like I have more of a grasp on what my philosophy actually is. Like my partner, Beth Singleton, who shares her approach to childbirth in another blog, I think the needs of the birthing person are paramount! I also think that my role is finding ways to balance their needs with the sometimes opposing needs of their support team, healthcare providers, partner and family.
As an advocate for reproductive justice, I identify as a full-spectrum doula, meaning I am here to support the pregnant person or parent as they make their choices, within the context of their sometimes complicated lives, regardless of the outcome. As I’ve written before, one’s reproductive decisions are impacted by many factors. There is no one right answer, but the best answer for that individual, at that time, in that situation.
There is a myth that doulas take the place of or override the needs of partners. Oftentimes, it is the partner or a family member who pays my fee. Regardless, the primary client is the pregnant person. When there is conflict, such as with the choice of a birthplace, it is still important to listen to all sides. Opinions that are in opposition to the desires of the birthing person are still valid and must be met with compassion and understanding. The process by which families overcome conflict around birth ideally strengthens them for the challenges of childrearing that lie ahead.
Which brings me to the choice of “Birth Quest” as my business name. Pregnancy, birth and parenting are unpredictable events. They force us to challenge our deeply held beliefs, our concepts of who we are and our purpose in life. Good support helps us to emerge stronger, more convicted and well-prepared for the lifelong journey of parenting and beyond. We are the heroes and heroines of our own stories that become woven into the foundations of the families we are creating.
I came into birth work with a good deal of dogma. Growing as a doula has been the process of shedding that in exchange for an openness and sense of wonder. Yes, doulas impact outcomes. This is a fact supported by research. I try to keep good track of the outcomes in my practice to see where I can improve my services to better support the needs of clients. My role is not to control variables, though, but to provide information and support along the journey.