In May of 2016, I attended a postpartum mood disorder class in Grand Rapids. As someone who supports moms – and as someone who struggles with bouts of anxiety and depression – I was eager to learn as much as I could.
Navigating my way through the parking lot, looking for the entrance, I noticed a woman who I figured was probably doing the same thing I was. But there was something about her that stood out to me, and I gravitated towards her without any real thought. Her energy was warm and kind. We met in the parking lot and found our way in together.
There had to be at least a hundred people there for the class, probably more as they couldn’t all fit in the main room. We (Rachael and I) sat together and got acquainted. I was one among a handful of doulas in the room. Rachael, however, was one of a kind.
In the short time we spent there that day, I did my best to take in and understand what Hakomi was. We’ve even kept in touch since then; but to this day, I’ve wanted to know more. Thankfully, Rachael, who practices through her business, Making Space Hakomi, was kind enough to oblige my request for an interview.
I hope you’ll all enjoy what she has to share. As she is just getting started on this path, I also hope you’ll all welcome her and encourage her on in her calling to serve women and their families.
Beth: First of all, what is Hakomi? I know when I met you, it wasn’t something I’d ever heard of and I haven’t really met anyone else who has.
Rachael: Hakomi is a mindfulness-based, body-centered form of assisted self-discovery. It is also experiential. What this means is that we work to stay mindful and in the present moment to explore our underlying unconscious beliefs about ourselves and the world. Often we learn a lot when we pay close and respectful attention to the wisdom of our bodies. It is an extremely gentle, respectful and sensitive method that understands the client to be the expert of themselves; the job of the Practitioner is to assist the client to maintain mindfulness and help guide them toward a more complete awareness of themselves.
Beth: What was it about Hakomi that appealed to you?
Rachael: I knew from my experience as a client that it really works and it felt so much more elegant and respectful than anything else I had tried. I love the founding principles of non-violence, organicity, unity, mindfulness and body-mind holism.
Beth: What inspired you to become a practitioner?
Rachael: My own experience as a client. It was a truly transformative experience for me through which I realized so many things about myself that I hadn’t consciously been aware of before and I felt like I gave (with the help of my Practitioner) those wounded places within myself the healing they needed; that resulted in really knowing I could choose to inhabit my life differently than I had been before. The result is that I generally feel more resourced, more connected to myself and able to connect with others, more aware of my unconscious beliefs and more able to make more life-affirming and nourishing choices in my daily life. Of course, I have hard days and I forget all these things sometimes, but generally feel much more whole, aware and vibrant than I did before going through my Hakomi process. I continue to learn and struggle but am so grateful for what I continue to learn through this lovely method.
Beth: What kind of training did you have to complete in order to become a practitioner?
Rachael: I completed an 18 month comprehensive training program through the Hakomi Institute. I then completed the certification process, which is based on competence rather than hours, about 16 months after I graduated from the program.
Beth: How would you say Hakomi is helpful for women before, during, or after pregnancy?
Rachael: The transition into motherhood or transitioning from mothering one to two or two to three children, etc. is significant in all women’s lives. So much happens to women as we go through that process. It is a time when we can be particularly vulnerable and particularly in need of extra support to find our footing in who we are and how we want to embody our life as a person who is also a mother. The way that process unfolds is different for everyone, but across the board it is a unique time of life that lends itself to mindful self-discovery as we come face to face with a lot of our own wounding, fears, desires and the impacts of our personal history. Hakomi is such a lovely way of learning to be with and learn from those parts of ourselves that can arise during times of transition.
Beth: What are some of the reasons women might seek out the assistance of a Hakomi practitioner?
Rachael: I often see clients who are having trouble transitioning into motherhood, feeling stuck in behavior patterns that don’t serve them or interacting with their children in ways that feel triggered but not grounded or based on their truest desire for how to be in relationship with their child(ren).
Beth: Is Hakomi something that can help new parents adjust to the changes they’ll face as well? If so, how?
Rachael: Absolutely. Hakomi is based on the idea that when we are mindful and we have a skilled assistant on our side we can uncover our unconscious beliefs that often drive our behaviors and ways we live in the world. Hakomi allows us to gently make space for the wounded parts of ourselves that can become particularly activated upon becoming a parent as so many of our developmental wounds
are revealed as our children grow. Hakomi also provides amazing and individualized resources and skills that people can take home with them and practice using in their daily lives.
Beth: I see you have a Mindful Mothering Support Group coming up in November. Is this a little different than other support groups for moms and if so, how?
Rachael: Yes. This is a unique support group because it is founded in mindfulness. Mindfulness is slowing down, being aware and also cultivating a sense of non-judgement or curiosity. So we will engage in some guided meditation time and be able to study what arises during those times of mindfulness. It will be a highly facilitated group where participants will be encouraged to speak from their present experience rather than retell the “story” of their struggles. In doing that we can more easily access the issues UNDER the story and hopefully offer some healing to those places that need it.
Beth: Do you offer any other classes or provide private consultations?
Rachael: Yes. I provide one-on-one sessions as well as an eco-grief mindful support group which is designed to support people who deeply feel the pain of the earth and the damage we have done to it in this moment in time. The goal is to provide a safe space to share grief and pain and also allow those feelings to flow and move and see what else can arise through that process. This is inspired by the work of Joanna Macy and her book, “Active Hope.”
Beth: Is there anything else you’d like to share?
Rachael: Thank you for the opportunity to share about Hakomi. I am grateful. I have myself worked at a college for midwives, trained as a birth and postpartum doula, volunteered as a postpartum doula and experienced postpartum mood disorders. So I have a deep well of empathy, compassion, and resonance with the struggles that come with the transition into mothering and learning how to be who you truly are in the new and overwhelming role of parent.
Beth: Thank you so much, Rachael, for your time and help with this. I can honestly see how this is something everyone could benefit from, and I hope that services like yours continue to grow and help people heal.